Elsewhere on this site, we explain when to use I and me. This article is specifically about myself and other reflexive pronouns.

People commonly misuse myself. Sometimes they mistakenly use it as a subject, such as in the expression “Anna and myself are going home.” But if we remove “Anna and,” most of us know it would be grammatically incorrect to say “Myself is going home.”

Why? Because we need a subject for the verb “are going,” and myself can never be a subject.

So when do we use reflexive pronouns, the ones that end with –self  or –selves (myself, yourself, himself, herself, itself, yourselves, ourselves, themselves)?

To use reflexive pronouns appropriately, we need to remember three facts about them:

First, Reflexive Pronouns Can Be Objects but Never Subjects

Reflexive pronouns serve as objects (indirect and direct) of verbs, verbals, or prepositions:

• Henry scared himself. [Himself is the direct object of the verb scared.]
• I gave myself a treat. [Myself is the indirect object of the verb gave; treat is the direct object, the thing being given “to myself”]
• Before the meeting, she allowed herself time to park her car. [Herself is the indirect object of the verb allowed; time is the direct object, the thing being allowed “to herself“]
• We voted to give ourselves a raise. [Ourselves is the indirect object of the verbal (infinitive) phrase “to give”; the raise is the direct object, the thing being given “to ourselves.”]
• The candidate inspired large donations, propelling herself to the top of the polls. [Herself is the object of the verbal (participial) phrase “propelling herself to the top of the polls.”]
• She bought lavish gifts for her children and herself. [Herself is one of the two objects of the prepositional phrase “for her children and herself”; herself and children are also the indirect objects of the verb bought.]

Second, Reflexive Pronouns Can Intensify Any Noun or Pronoun—Subject or Object

Reflexive pronouns can serve as intensifiers, functioning grammatically as appositives (words that rename other words):

1. I myself wrote that check.
2. I wrote that check myself.
3. Harriot assured us that she herself would lock the building.
4. Harriot assured us that she would lock the building herself.

As we can see in the second and fourth sentences, a reflexive pronoun does not have to be right next to a noun to intensify it.

So while a reflexive pronoun can never be a subject, it’s fine for a reflexive pronoun to intensify a subject, as is the case in all four of these examples.

Third, a Reflexive Pronoun Must Always Refer to the Subject of Its Own Clause

This third point is very important: Regardless of which role a reflexive pronoun fills—object or intensifier—the reflexive pronoun must refer to (think reflect) the same person or thing serving as the subject of the same clause:

• In the clause “Henry hurt himself,” Henry and himself refer to the same person.
• In the clause “I gave myself a treat,” I and myself refer to the same person.
• In the clause “she allowed herself time . . . ,” she and herself refer to the same person.
• In the clause “she bought lavish gifts for her children and herself,” she and herself refer to the same person.
• In the clause “We voted to give ourselves a raise this year,” we and ourselves refer to the same people.
• In the clause “I myself wrote that check,” I and myself refer to the same person.
• In the clause “that she would lock the building herself,” she and herself refer to the same person.

Sometimes writers and speakers think they can use myself (or any of the reflexive pronouns) to avoid having to choose between I and me (or any of the subject-object pronoun pairs, such as she/her, he/him, etc.), but as we have seen here, we should use reflexive pronouns only in certain grammatical constructions.

TEST YOURSELF

Three of these four sentences use reflexive pronouns incorrectly:

1. My boss gave the tickets to Henry and myself.
2. Audrey and myself are going to the shareholders’ meeting this afternoon.
3. Hilda herself was responsible for the fire that burned down her house.
4. Gayle asked if Paul and herself could leave work early that afternoon.

ANSWERS

• Sentence 3 correctly uses the reflexive pronoun: herself intensifies the subject Hilda.

• Sentence 1 is wrong because the subject—boss—is not the same person as myself. (It is worth pointing out, too, that the correct pronoun in sentence 1 should be me, not I, because the preposition to requires an object, not a subject.)

• Sentences 2 and 4 both use a reflexive pronoun as the subject of a clause. Although a reflexive pronoun can intensify a subject, it can never be a subject. Sentence 2, then, should use I instead of myself, and sentence 4 should use she instead of herself.

Since many people use myself when they aren’t sure whether to use I or me, readers may find it helpful to read our article on that subject.

Copyright 2002 Get It Write. Revised 2019, 2023.